I Can Change it to T-A-U-M-A

I like my name. Really like it.




That hasn’t always been the case. I remember slamming the door after I had gotten home from the 2nd grade and yelling to my mother, “You just had to name me Tauna!”


You see, almost everyone in my class had their names printed on their stuff. All kinds of stuff –pencils, notebooks, bracelets, stuffed animals.


Guess who has NEVER found her name printed on mass-produced products?


Now I don’t care if I can’t find my name on a key chain. I like having a unique name. However,
 my name is proof that people do not listen to one another.


Here is a sampling of some of the names I’ve been called after being asked my name.


Shauna, Fauna, Lana, Hauna, Hannah, Tonya, Tanya, Taxna (I really think that person was drunk), Tuna, Tanna, Taupa, Tronna, Trina, and Connie (this one happens a lot!).


When giving my name for an official reason I first pronounce then spell my name. Even that doesn’t help. Nine times out of 10 people will spell my name however they feel like it. Unfortunately, that doesn’t cut it when the government is concerned. I’ve had to fight to get my name spelled correctly on checks and my first passport. Um, “little things” like that matter.


Today, I had to visit another government office and found myself on the “Tauna” merry-go-round. It’s a fun little ride in which you pronounce & spell, pronounce & spell, and pronounce & spell.


Here’s how it went.


Lady at Anonymous office: "How do you spell your name?"
Me: "T-A-U-N-A" (Said v e r y slowly.)
LAAO: "T-O-N..."
Me: "No. T like Thomas, A like apple, U like umbrella, N like Nancy, A like apple
LAAO: "Well I can't find you in our system."
Me: "How are you spelling it?"
LAAO: "T-A-N-Y-A"
Me: "Would you mind putting my name in your system?" (I was laughing, but she wasn’t.)
LAAO: "What's your name?" (I spelled it TWO more times.)
LAAO: "What's your address?" (I gave her the information.)
LAAO: "I found it, but someone spelled your name wrong in our computer. That's why I couldn't find you."
Me: "How was it spelled in the computer?"
LAAO: "It’s spelled T-A-U-N-A, but I can change it to T-A-U-M-A."
Me: "No, no, let's leave it the way it is. I think it will be easier if I start spelling my name T-A-U-N-A."


I finally convinced her that T-A-U-N-A was correct, but I may find out next year that I'm really Tauma.