Friday, January 16, 2009


Everywhere I've turned this week I've run into love. Love in the form of old letters, a particular song that has played numerous times in my heart then at church and on the radio, and in God's word. I've also been reading about love in a book by Francis Chan titled "Crazy Love."

Francis mentioned his wife's Grandma Clara. He writes that Grandma Clara would say, "I love love."

Me too.

I'd like to share some beautiful words written to me a while back. I cried as I read these words from a box of letters I found during my move. Sweet memories washed over me as I sat with letters spilling over my lap. I love love. It was good to be reminded of those feelings.

Every time I turn around I miss you more. Every time I breathe I think of you. Any time I do anything you captivate my mind and my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for blessing me with you. This day is no exception.
I miss you more than my heart can stand.
Everyday I care for you more and more and more. Everyday I fall deeper and deeper and deeper... It's a scary thought but I can think of no other place I'd rather be.
I'm thinking of you. Thinking that someday your smile will be mine to cherish everyday, that someday your heart will dazzle in my eyes.
I walk out at night staring at the stars wondering if you are looking at them. I keep thoughts to myself that need to be shared with you. I have an empty space where my heart once was.
I miss you.
I promise to give you myself for as long as you wish. I am yours Tauna Marie.
Do with me as you wish.
My heart jumps when I think of seeing you. When you are on my arm your encouragement washes over me. I need your encouragement.
I miss you.
Tauna you mean the world to me. Someday I will take you there.
I just spoke with you and my heart is so light and my smile is so big. You are my best friend, and I mean to take care of you always..
I've seen you a thousand times before but only in my dreams.

I never knew your name.
I never knew who you were,but I always knew I would find you,
and you would always be mine.

Now I'm walking with you,
and you said you would never let me go.
I just smile thinking to myself
I've finally met my dream
I never knew your name.
I never knew who you were, but I always knew I would find you,
and you would always be mine.

I'm not sure how long it was,
an hour maybe more.
Time and distance had no place.
The world was only ours.

I finally know your name.
I finally know who you are.
I know that you are beside me,
and you will always be mine.

I'm so happy to meet you,
my dream in real life.
All I have I give to you,
for now I hand you my heart.

Those words were written by an amazing young man that I loved greatly. His name was Andy, and he died  in a car accident when he was 22 years old. While I miss his love, it is his friendship I miss most, so I was a little surprised when I read his words and was flooded with the sweet love we had for one another. As I said, it felt good to be reminded of that love.

I was reminded of another love this week. It's the love relationship I have with God. Sadly to say I don't think I've put the effort into spending time with God that I did with past relationships.

Francis Chan makes the statement that "when we are loving, we can't sin." I don't know about you, but that gave me pause. I stopped to think about that simple declaration, and I believe it is true. So what does it say about me? How many times must I stop loving in order to sin.

And how much effort am I really putting into my love relationship with Christ? I remember staying up to the wee hours of the morning to talk to my high school sweetheart on the phone. Of course my mom couldn't understand why. She would tell me to get off the phone if it was after 9:00 saying, "You saw him all day at school." That wasn't exactly true. We saw each other several times for a few minutes throughout the day, but that wasn't the same as she thought!

I would talk to J after everyone had gone to bed in both households. I knew that if I were caught it would mean being grounded from the phone, but I was willing to take the risk.

I remember talking my college roommate into driving me to see J one afternoon. The drive was 45 minutes each way. I was only going to get to spend 15 minutes with J before returning back to campus. An hour and a half driving to spend a quarter of an hour with my sweetie was a bargain to me because I was in love.

So as much as I say I love love, I sure don't act as if I do. I have someone utterly in love with me. I don't have to risk punishment to spend time with Him. I may have to sacrifice some of my time, but if it's love then it isn't a sacrifice.

True to my nature as a girl I want to be wooed. That is why the words above were so effective. They were meant to woo me, and they did because I knew the emotions behind the words were genuine.

God wants to woo me too, but I must let Him. He has written many beautiful verses to win my heart. I must allow my heart to be won, and I must respond in like. Mark 12:30 tells us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

People say that when someone is in love they glow. It does lend beauty to your life. God wants me to love Him with EVERYTHING in me. I'm going to open myself to His love. I want His beauty to wash over me.


Kecia said...

I just now got to read "The rest of the story"--oh, you make me laugh! And you are adorable and godly and quite a catch.
And your post on "Love," well, it was beautiful, and convicting, and somehow encouraging all at the same time. I "loved" it.

Stacy said...

Hey Tauna Marie,
Like your friend Kecia said, your post was beautiful, convicting and yet encouraging!
It sounds like God is doing some wonderful things...I'm excited to hear more!

Anita/Nita said...

Beautifully said, Tauna! You are precious!

Dee said...

God has given you a gift to articulate His truths in a beautiful way, T, keep doing it!

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