Monday, August 20, 2012

Oops I Did it Again

Apparently my pinky toe is made of glass. I brushed it against the edge of a braided rug, and it snapped into. Again.

This is the seventh time, in seven years, my little toe has broken. The first time was so bad that my roommate almost threw up when she saw it. It. was. gross. (Skip the next few paragraphs if you have a weak stomach and don't want your lunch on your keyboard.)

I caught my little piggy on the strap of a duffle that was sticking out from under my bed. It made a cracking noise like when you pop your fingers. (Yes I pop my knuckles- don't judge.) I thought I had dislocated the toe. That had happened a time or two before, and I would roll my foot onto its side and move the toe back into place. Only it didn't slide back into place. 

I'm sure I turned grey. I know I wasn't breathing.

When I looked down, my little toe was flopped off to the side- perpendicular to my foot. Rolling my foot over the toe rocketed pain through my foot, up my leg, and out of the top of my head like lightening. I'm pretty sure there was a hole in my bedroom ceiling.

I managed to hop downstairs to ask if we had any medical tape in the house. My roommate didn't believe me when I told her what it was for. She stated that she hadn't heard me scream and asked how I knew it was broken. I pointed down and said, "Because that isn't natural." She leaned around her desk to look and almost barfed. To her credit, I hadn't made a sound when it happened.

We didn't have any cloth tape, so I used masking tape. It didn't really matter what I used because the toe was so swollen that I couldn't get it to set. And before anyone asks, no I didn't have any training to do this. However I can promise- you know when the bone is set and when it isn't. 

It wasn't until my lunch break the next day that I was able to get to a drugstore for the tape I needed. I sat in my car and pulled the toe up until it was set in the proper position. Once that happened the pain decreased by 50%. It still hurt like a donkey to walk on it, but the pain needle had been holding steady on a Godzilla level to that point.

Ten months later it snapped again just as bad. It has never been the same since. Now if you look at it too long it will break out of spite. I'd cut it off if it that wouldn't ruin all future sandal seasons. I actually have a pair of Born loafers that are one size too big that I keep for when my toe breaks. That's just sad.

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